At least once a year, something terrible happens when you wake up in the morning of your ex's birthdays. When it is supposed to feel like it's going to be a good day, but then you see it as crisis and you need a plan for how to move forward.
Wll here is that plan: Do not dare send a "happy birthday" text!!
If you think sending a "happy birthday" text to someone you once dated/boned/were in love with seems perfectly normal, you are wildly out of sense. Such message won't prove that you are "nice" but are actually it's a terrible proof of your "kindness". These texts are not at all about wishing happiness to someone as they're about playing with that muddy emotions. The true secret behind every happy birthday text from an ex is: Look at me, I'm so careless that I can wish you a "happy" day and it's totally fine!
There's no such kind "happy birthday" text when ex is involved. Mostly because an ex can never just say "happy birthday" and leave it at that. A birthday text from an ex always comes with a side of something horrible like: "...and I hope you're doing well,..." or, "I know it's been a while since we talked but..."; what kind of reply are you expecting? a simple "Thanks"? or another horrible reply "Thanks...I am fine... keep in touch...".
I can understand the motive behind saying happy birthday to an ex, especially for the serious one who you experienced at least one birthday with. Is it a moral thought? If you don't say happy birthday, will they think you're being salty and are secretly wishing they have an unhappy birthday? But then again, if you do say happy birthday, they might not respond, or worse, they might respond with that cold "Thanks".
This would all be much easier if there was just an established rule for this situation. And that rule should be: Just don't send the damn text.
Throw your phone for 24 hours if you must. Because the actual best birthday present you can give to any ex is to leave them the hell alone. No texts, no e-cards, no flower arrangements, no nothing. Just let them enjoy their special day the way they want to - completely without you. It is a one day a year that should not be ruined by the blast from the past.
There are very few exceptions to this rule. If you and your ex are mature enough and who are honestly still friends, sure! send the text. And by "friends," I mean this ex must be someone you interact with at least few times a month with zero drama. Like, if they texted you out of nothing for an advise. But if that isn't the situation between you and your ex, or if you are unsure, Don't send it! Don't.
You know that: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?" don't you?
If you can't say, "Happy birthday," to an ex without actually meaning: "Happy birthday, you f** b** I hope your cake tastes like a s**," then don't say anything at all.
If you're very lucky, your ex will return the same favor to you.
Keep them alone and continue your life like any other normal person.
Keep Walking... Keep Smiling
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